Handle Homework Hassles

Attention asked six experts:
If you could advise parents of children with ADHD about the subject of homework, what would you consider the three most helpful pieces of information?

INTERVENTIONS THAT BUILD LIFELONG HABITS
by Maureen A. McQuiggan, EdD

Tips and tricks for surviving the homework wars fill volumes. Strategies intended to “help” with homework often leave both parent and child feeling like they are just adding to the workload. The real key to success with homework rests in identifying strategies that work for all homework all the time. Here are three basic interventions that get the job done and build valuable lifelong habits:

	Process is more important than product. In recent years, educators have perfected the art of outlining explicitly the product they expect from students. Rubrics and assignment contracts spell out clearly what teachers expect to see handed in. The missing link often rests with the process. Help your child get from “I haven’t even thought about the assignment” to handing in a quality product by creating process cards. Together with your child, outline clear and simple steps to completing the task. Cards for tasks such as learning new vocabulary and outlining reading materials can be used repeatedly to build both confidence and good work habits. Start each step with a motivational check box that can be ticked off for a sense of accomplishment.
	All reading assignments must be active. Asking a child with ADHD to simply read a chapter for homework is like asking him or her to watch grass grow—many will comply, but in the end the grass and child remain unchanged. If reading assignments are not active, the brain is not engaged, attention wanders, and learning does not take place. Active reading strategies can involve asking students to locate key ideas in the reading, color coding answers to the end-of-chapter questions, or creating questions based on the reading.
	Build basic skills. Basic skills are the gifts that keep on giving. Devoting a chunk of time in the summer to targeted basic skills practice such as increasing reading fluency, improving written language skills, or committing math facts to memory will help build your child’s automaticity. Students who read more fluently, compute with speed and accuracy, and write with ease will realize the benefits across all academic tasks.

Maureen A. McQuiggan, EdD, is the Literacy Coordinator for the Radnor Township School District in Radnor, Pennsylvania, and an adjunct professor in special education at Immaculata University. She is a member of the professional advisory board for Chester County/Main Line CHADD and the parent of two children affected by ADHD.

COMMUNICATE ABOUT STRUGGLES
by Courtney Calio, MSEd

Students with ADHD feel overwhelmed with the idea of homework. Work outside of the school day requires time management, focus, and self-regulation—all skills that do not come easily for those fighting ADHD. Not to mention that the required task could be difficult, in a content area of little interest, or seen by the child as pointless. These possible culprits are at the core of the all-too-familiar scene: fighting and crying over homework with your child at the kitchen table, plugging through one spelling word or math fact at a time.

The reality is that all children of this generation are required to sustain a daily routine that requires intense academic rigor. Eligible content and high-stakes standardized testing leave little room in the school day to release extra energy or engage in self-selected learning activities. Unfortunately, there is little reprieve from this routine for many children at dismissal time. The transition from school to home, usually with well-deserved extracurricular activities jammed in between, creates a difficult dilemma. How do you explain to your child who has ADHD that he or she must be focused all day at school to do his or her best work, but then must also refocus at home to do more schoolwork?

As an elementary educator, I have come to realize that only so much can be expected at home from all children, that the smallest modifications can reap huge rewards, and that without communication (from teacher, parent and child) the battle is never won. My advice to parents of children with ADHD:

	You must communicate with your child's teacher about homework. Determine the exact purpose of the homework. Is the teacher open to differentiating the assignment to meet the strengths of your student? Your child's teacher will not understand any struggles going on at home unless you communicate them and work together to develop possible alternatives.
	Consider your child's learning style. Is your child a great artist, musician, or athlete? Does your child love technology? Seek out ways to complete a reading log or memorize spelling words and math facts that involve your child's natural strengths, known as multiple intelligences in the world of education. Find activities that are enjoyable but meaningful and produce the same results.
	Stay positive and involve your child in open dialogue. Involve your child in discussions with the teacher and demonstrate how to communicate and voice struggles. Your child knows he or she has ADHD and it will always present challenges in life. There will be many times when modifications can't be made and when one just has to get the job done. Explain this, each and every time. Show your child that you are advocating for him or her, that you understand, and that learning how to cope and overcome will make him or her stronger.

Courtney Calio, MSEd, teaches fifth grade in the Kennett Consolidated School District in Pennsylvania.

HIRE HOMEWORK HELPERS
by Sheila Grant

As a parent, I have experienced the stress and tension of trying to get my kids to complete their homework. When you break it down, the steps required to complete homework can be especially challenging for a student with ADHD:

	Figure out the assignment. (Big problem, because it is not always written down.)
	Do you have the right materials to complete assignment? (Is the book at home?)
	Do you have an understanding of what is required? (Your child may have the assignment, but does not really know what is required.)
	Complete the assignment. (This is the hard part.)
	Hand in the assignment. (How many times does your child finally complete homework, only to leave it on kitchen table?)

After many stressful nights, tears, and fights, hiring a homework helper was the best thing I ever did for my family when my kids were in elementary and middle school. I hired many wonderful college students and graduate students over the years. Some were studying to be special education teachers. Once or twice a week, the homework helper sat in the kitchen with my child and supervised homework. The job included going through the backpack to find all of the errant papers, checking assignment books, working on organization, and making sure the assignments were complete and put away in the backpack. I was able to prepare dinner quietly; there were no fights, and my children felt a sense of accomplishment and confidence in their ability to do the work.

Homework helpers do not cost nearly as much as a tutor; figure on paying between $8 and $15 per hour. Here are my tips:

	If you have a university near you, try posting an ad. There are always students who need jobs and are perfect for elementary age through high school. Mature high school students would work well for elementary-age children.
	Be prepared to change over homework helpers if they do not work out. Look for one that is very organized, very kind, and comfortable setting limits with your child. For example, if you asked my son if he had any homework, he would frequently say no because he simply forgot. The effective homework helper did not stop there, but went through the backpack and the assignment book and almost always found something that needed to be done, even if it was simply organizing school materials or reviewing material.
	Ask for an extra set of books to be kept at home. This accommodation should be a part of the child’s IEP or 504 Plan to ensure you get that extra set of books.

Sheila Grant is the coordinator of the Chester County/Main Line CHADD parent support group and the parent of a school-age child affected by ADHD.

ESTABLISH THE HOMEWORK RITUAL
by Jim Karustis, PhD

Many years ago I discovered that homework problems can truly rip families apart, and that is no exaggeration. Common complaints include: “My kid will argue for six hours about doing homework that would take her fifteen minutes!” “He says he does his homework at school, then I get hit with surprises at teacher conference time.” And, in a different vein: “My child really does try, but homework seems to take up all of her time every night.” In a way homework can be a silent problem, because many students do their homework struggling at home—and as long as they finally complete the work and submit it, the teacher may not realize that there is a problem. In fact, many well-meaning parents gradually find themselves taking over the lion’s share of homework responsibilities, out of fear that their children will be penalized for incomplete work.

If your child is experiencing significant homework problems, review the basics of what we call the homework ritual. Get clear on the rules yourself, then review them with your child and post them prominently in your home.

As much as possible, homework should begin at the same time each day. There should be a designated, distraction-minimized location. Don’t believe it when your child says he can pay attention better when the television is on—turn it off. (However, some children do fare better, mainly for rote tasks, when there is some subdued music in the background.) The homework location should be virtually a sacred spot, set aside only for homework, so that your child can keep materials there and not confuse the location with other activities.

If these elements of the homework ritual have been problematic, then I suggest that you implement an incentive system that targets the troublesome homework-related behaviors—for example, fifteen minutes earned for her favorite video game for beginning homework with one reminder.

The next issue is to keep separate and distinct your roles as homework manager and homework tutor. Managerial duties include the structure of homework time and making sure you know what your child has to do for homework. Once you are confident your child understands the directions, then leave the homework station. Inform your child that you will check back later, but that you expect that he will have completed X number of problems. The assistance with the actual instructional material can come later.

All students should use their homework assignment books. Many or most schools are establishing online assignment sites. These may at some point greatly reduce the importance of pen-and-paper assignment books, but the systems remain works in progress—with variable reliability—for many students. If compliance with consistently using the assignment book has been a problem for your child, you may wish to ask the teachers to sign the book on a daily basis, including ‘no homework’ written in and signed as indicated. If your child is one of those who says she has completed her homework at school, then make it clear that privileges at home are contingent upon her bringing the work home for you to compare against what is in the assignment book.

If you have these elements in place and still experience significant problems, it may be time to request a meeting of the school’s Instructional Support Team (private schools have equivalent teams with varying names). The IST can assist with basic interventions regarding homework and related issues, and can also begin the process of exploring the possibility of whether your child is receiving instruction consistent with her current level of functioning. For students with ADHD, requesting reduced homework demands is a common and reasonable intervention.

Homework can be put in its place for what it is meant to be, which is a reinforcement of classroom instruction. If it is dominating home life, then try the modifications outlined above, and also consider seeking assistance from the IST and from a qualified psychologist with expertise in school issues.

A psychiatrist in private practice, James Lorenzo Karustis, PhD, is a member of the professional advisory board for Chester County/Main Line CHADD. He coauthored Homework Success for Children with ADHD: A Family-School Intervention Program (Guilford Press, 2001).

GET SUPPORT WITH HOMEWORK
by Thomas J. Power, PhD

Debate continues about the value of homework and whether homework should be assigned to students, particularly in the elementary grades. Although many arguments have been made in favor of homework, three are especially important. First, family involvement in education clearly has been shown to have a positive effect on children’s performance in school. Homework provides an opportunity for families to be involved in their children’s education and to help their children to do well in school. Second, the quality of the family-school relationship is critical for school success. Homework is a natural means of family-school collaboration and provides ongoing opportunities for parents and teachers to connect with each other. Third, when students transition into high school and college, they generally need good work habits to be able to work effectively on their own. Homework provides an opportunity for students to develop independent study skills.

The most important question is not whether to assign homework but how to support families with homework. The following are a few points to consider:

	It is critical for homework assignments to be adjusted so that students experience high rates of success. Parents have an important role in negotiating with teachers the right amount and type of homework.
	Homework can be a battleground that has negative effects on student motivation to learn and the quality of the parent-child relationship. Many parents need training to design a homework routine and use positive reinforcement strategies that will be effective. School guidance counselors and your child’s doctor may be able to offer referrals to a professional who can offer this service.
	Homework assignments can be overwhelming to children and their parents. It is usually a good idea to break up homework into manageable chunks or units and to set goals for completion and accuracy for each unit. Subsequently, children can earn positive reinforcement for being able to achieve established goals.

Thomas J. Power, PhD, is professor of pediatrics and education at the University of Pennsylvania and director of the Center for Management of ADHD at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. He is a former member of CHADD's professional advisory board. He is one of the coauthors of Homework Success for Children with ADHD: A Family-School Intervention Program (Guilford Press, 2001).

REDEFINE PERFECT
by Meghan S. Leahy, MS

Homework can be very stressful for both adults and students. The best approach is to find a system that works for everyone and make it a habit. Discovering the system that works best can be tricky. It takes experimentation, creativity, and patience. Also, the system needs to be flexible, re-examined, and tweaked over time. For students with ADHD, the key is flexible structure. Adults have to remember that it is their job to implement this structure for students in a positive manner. It is the student’s job to engage in the homework process and complete the work. This is an important relationship. Adults need to find a balance and model productive behaviors while allowing responsibility for quality homework completion to remain with the student. Students are empowered by adults who can honestly and enthusiastically help them discover success in small, continuous steps.

Here are a few helpful tips:

	Make a plan. Know what is required; awareness is key. Each night, have the student make a list of all the work that needs to be done, for that night and for the week. Discuss a plan of attack for completion. How will the work be broken down?
	Use your words and laugh a lot. Research has proven that positive reinforcement is the most successful way to motivate students with ADHD. Avoid negative language and always ask open-ended questions—remember to wait for a reply. Realistically, not too many students enjoy homework. Don’t judge. Address the fact that it is a reality that must be accepted and talk it through. Some students need to vent. Let them discuss how hard life can be—as long as they are talking while they work.
	Redefine “perfect.” There is no such thing as perfect, so help your students to set reasonable goals that will make them (and you) “perfectly” happy. At the end of each marking period, reward progress, examine setbacks and set new goals.

Meghan S. Leahy, MS, is the director of Leahy Learning and a clinical associate at the Penn Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program at the University of Pennsylvania.

http://www.chadd.org

An Easy Way to a Calmer Day: Reflections from the Dentist's Chair

It was overly hot here in Atlanta, and I had scheduled a morning in the dentist’s chair. It was not, however, one of those sessions of poke and drill, but a chance to use a gift of a teeth-whitening session. This was an entirely new experience for me and I was feeling just a little apprehensive. But I was looking forward to a much whiter smile.

When they told me I would have to sit still for two hours, I was shocked. Then panic set in. As some of you are aware, with my own ADHD I have only two speeds: full speed ahead and dead stop. I knew I didn’t have any gears that fell in between. I seriously wondered if I could really sit still that long, but faced with the challenge, I was going to try.

The technician began the prep work and soon I was fitted with a mouth full of rubber, space-age glasses that wrapped my face, and tilted in the chair so that a light was peering intently into my frozen grin. I had briefly considered reading via my Kindle, but the apparatus and position made that impossible. I did want to sit still… but how was that going to happen?

I soon became petrified that I would just explode and run out of there like a scared rabbit. I instantly remembered the kids who resembled deer in headlights as they approached one frightening school moment after another. I related to that feeling of insecurity, being scared, knowing that any move was the wrong one, unsure, completely frozen, and feeling that you were not quite alive on this planet.

As I sat there trying to calm my desire to flee, I tried to place myself in the minds of those youngsters who were just as frightened as I. My brain hopped relentlessly from one situation to another, dredging my web of experiences to find just what I had used to calm their fears and keep my need to be in motion in quiet submission. I had calmed many a youngster over these past fifty years. Surely I could control myself now!

Then it hit me: I could try QiGong, the art of slow meditative movement, but more importantly, the act of slow, deep breathing to create relaxing control.

Long ago, there was a parent at my school who was related to a QiGong master. One year he gave a session to the teachers prior to the opening of school. We all felt relaxed, revitalized, and ready to take on the year’s challenges. We started using the breathing and movement to begin our weekly staff meeting and we all found it helpful. With his support and guidance, before long we began to have QiGong exercises at the beginning of the day, sometimes as part of recess.

We came to rely on the calming effect of QiGong. When minor upsets occurred during the school day—when classrooms went from okay to chaos in a flash—teachers initiated a QiGong break to regain calm and help the youngsters to learn to relax. It wasn’t a magic bullet, but through its soothing, relaxing effect, calm began to take hold.

We decided to do in-house research by observing our students. We began by rating the children on a behavioral scale that scaled acting-out behavior. The entire school was dedicated to the needs of the neurobiologically challenged youngster, so acting out was part of our daily lives. By the end of the first year, 80 percent of the youngsters prone to explosive outbursts, showed a 20 percent reduction in the number and frequency of their explosions. By the end of the second year, most of the youngsters showed the ability to initiate their own calming when given a hand signal reminder. At the end of the third year, youngsters who began off the scale in acting-out behaviors were beginning to find their own calming devices.

I do not present this as a research-founded program, but one that was easy to implement and showed great benefit for those who took part. After the first year, new students readily patterned those who were already in the program and those reticent to participate began to change their minds.

Why did we choose QiGong? First, because it was readily available, but then we realized that the deep breathing basis of the movement was giving the youngsters and staff a feeling of calm that they were not used to experiencing. Secondly, you don’t just tell an ADHD youngster to stop moving. Using storylines and other patterning techniques, the youngster could follow the movements, their sequence and feel a part of the experience. As with dance and music, the body flowing together was significant for relaxing and calming.

I sincerely believe that most of us had never really known what that feeling of calm felt like. Regulating body, breath, and mind created a new sensation and laid a foundation for control that was not otherwise available. The storylines began with those available, but soon the children created some of their own as they had more meaning. Look to the end of the blog for a few samples.

Breathing my way to calm

Okay, so what happened to me in the dentist chair? I couldn’t stand sitting and doing nothing, and as soon as my mind went into problem solving or organizing mode, my fingers twitched because I couldn’t write notes (so necessary as my short-term memory is always absent). I began to do the deep breathing from my days with QiGong. I was a wonderful patient and voice student as I reached deeply into my diaphragm and brought air in an incredibly slow manner, releasing it just as slowly instructing my body to relax segment by segment from head to toe. I counted the breaths and moved in and out.

After the first fifteen minutes I discovered I could pace my breathing to seventy deep breaths every fifteen minutes. For the mathematically inclined this is about one breath every thirteen seconds to sanity. The first fifteen minutes were trial at best, but by the last I had it down pat. I was in control and frankly so relaxed I almost fell flat on my face when I got up from the chair. I had met my challenge, but also remembered so many of my youngsters who went from frazzled to calm. I’ve learned that some are still able to pull it together when our closing hand signal clues them.

I gave up the daily QiGong practice long ago, but the calm I felt in the dentist’s chair that day led me to return to breathing and movement as my own therapeutic move toward wellness and control. And now I share the experience with all of you.

We all have times of being frazzled and spent. This gift is your small antidote to teacher burnout and a return to sanity. You don’t need formal training. The Internet and YouTube are full of instructional packages.

We began with simple breathing and movements. Eight Pieces of Silk was the pattern the youngsters felt indicated their success when they could accomplish this with slow, focused rhythm from beginning to end.

AWAKENING THE QI
Deep breathing. Very slow, gentle raising and lowering of body and arms. Good for opening a QiGong set.

AUTUMN BREEZE BLOWS THE LEAVES
Gentle side to side turns of the waist and neck. Very calming and soothing.
Arms relaxed, out to the side like floating limbs and leaves.

CATCH A RAINBOW
Reach high into the air, breathe deeply.
Catch the rainbow.
Pull it to you. Push it to the ground
Wrap it around you, feel the colors making you warm and happy
Lullwater Student edition 1999

CLOUD HANDS
Gentle reaching to the sky, turn the waist and neck.
Place the cloud in your hands, put it on one hip, reach and catch another, bring it back, place it on the other hip.
Release each cloud back into the sky. It will go back again to the sun.
Lullwater Student edition 1999

FLY LIKE AN EAGLE
Good exercise for all areas of the back. Incorporates calf raises and sweeping shoulder movements. Also good for clearing the lungs of stale air and promoting better balance.

EIGHT PIECES OF SILK
Standing with feet shoulder width apart, arms at side.
1. Push up the heavens
2. Draw the bow
3. Raise the arms one at a time
4. Turn the head from side to side
5. Circle the arms (swaying the head and wagging the tail)
6. Stretch out the hand, grab, pull, and spear hand
7. Lift the jar and pound the legs
8. Bend the back

Execute the cycle once. Repeat most steps several times before proceeding to the next. General applicability, works the entire body.

References:
http://qigongforbeginners.com
QiGong for Beginners—simple QiGong concepts and the best QiGong guidance.

http://vimeo.com/11377350
Learn Zhan Zhuang QiGong—Standing Meditation.

http://adhdteacher.wordpress.com

A Student's Journey with ADHD

by Keath Low, MA

FROM AN EARLY AGE MORGAN PLOWMAN STRUGGLED AT SCHOOL with the challenges ADHD can bring, yet as a ninth grader she is confident and thriving. In 2010, she was honored by CHADD, the Learning Disabilities Association of Georgia, and Kids Enabled with the KIDS Gift Award (KIDS is an acronym for Kids who Individually Discovered Success). Morgan is a great example of a student who struggled with learning differences but developed into a successful and motivated student through self-advocacy and determination to learn.

I was in the audience when, in front of 365 people, fourteen-year-old Morgan walked to the podium, accepted her award, and took to the microphone. Everyone was moved by her words, poise, and grace as she thanked those who had helped her along the way. Though Morgan has struggled with issues of inattention, writing skills, auditory processing, and working memory, her great strengths include her verbal and social skills and her positive thinking. I learned later that Morgan had no idea she would be speaking and was completely unprepared. Among the members of that audience, only her mother knew.

First signs of concern

When she entered kindergarten, Morgan was very easily distracted and unable to rhyme words, something her classmates could do easily. In first grade, she was diagnosed with ADHD. “Everybody, even my pediatrician, kept telling me I was overthinking things and I wasn’t giving her enough time,” remembers her mother, Tina Plowman. “But I had had two other kids, and to me it was obvious that there was some kind of struggle going on that was not just normal slower learning. There were other things. Something wasn’t clicking. She could do complex things, but some of these basic things were just too much. I would do flashcards and everything you normally do with your kids to try to get them going. One day she could do it. The next day she couldn’t.” Morgan underwent comprehensive psychoeducational testing and began a trial of stimulant medication, but continued to fall further behind in school.

“In fourth grade it was getting really bad and I had to just demand that she get some help at school, but everyone kept telling me I was being too concerned,” Tina recalls. Another significant red flag worried her even more. “Morgan was a bubbly, outgoing child by nature. A friend of mine said to me one day, ‘You know if I didn’t know Morgan outside of school, I would never know that was the same child.’” The friend noticed that Morgan had become extremely quiet and withdrawn at school.

Tina began volunteering in the classroom and met her daughter for lunch several times a week. “I wanted to see how things were going without making it too obvious,” she explains. “Morgan would hold my hand and walk real quietly and she would whisper. Totally not her personality!” Morgan was becoming completely overwhelmed with the school environment.

Morgan recalls feeling different and somewhat isolated as her struggles became more pronounced. “My first memory that things were different was when the teacher put headphones on me in the classroom. Also, things like having to go outside to a trailer classroom while my friends stayed in the regular class and missing game day reward for good behavior to go get extra help from the learning teacher,” she recalls.

“Morgan’s learning disabilities were significant. The school finally did testing because I demanded it. I think they were glad we finally moved away,” Tina says with a chuckle. “I wasn’t ugly with the school, but Morgan continued to struggle and the solution they came up with was for me to take her to Sylvan Learning Center for two hours after school every day. Morgan was in class for eight hours a day. They would send home the work she couldn’t complete during the school day and then they were telling me to have her do two more hours after school of tutoring and then finish up that school work, too!”

Though Tina was frustrated, she understood that the school had limitations in what they could provide. She doesn’t blame the teachers, but rather the system and the vast misunderstanding many have about learning disabilities.

Morgan was frustrated, too. “I knew she was capable of learning, but personally I didn’t know how to help her,” says Tina. “When I would sit down and try to go over work with her, she would get so frustrated because it was so difficult for her to figure out what to do. I didn’t have the knowledge for how to teach her differently because what made sense to me, made no sense to her.”

The beginning of change

A job change led the family to relocate to a new city. After exploring school options, they enrolled Morgan in the Howard School, a private day school for children with learning disabilities.

During her four years at the Howard School—fifth through eighth grade—Morgan made a complete transformation. Her confidence grew and she began to feel she could succeed. Tina attributes the changes to smaller classes and a faculty that understood how Morgan needed to learn. Her teachers not only taught her skills, but also how to advocate for what she needed.

After eighth grade the family considered moving Morgan to a larger private school so she could begin to feel more comfortable in larger settings. “We tried to get her into a private school that had a lot of accommodations in place, but they took one look at her learning profile and testing and would not admit her,” recalls Tina. “She functions way higher than her paperwork looks.” Instead, Morgan began ninth grade at a nearby arts and sciences public magnet school. The transition was a scary one—from a ratio of two teachers to ten students at Howard to a school of eighteen hundred students.

“I’ve been stunned at watching her handle it,” shares Tina. “The first few days were very tough. Her biggest fear was not making friends and not being able to find her classes.” The first day of school was a major challenge, as the new computer system had malfunctioned and the class schedules were all incorrect. “We had already had her IEP meeting and she had her schedule of what she was supposed to be in under that IEP, and yet this new schedule had her in all the wrong classes,” recalls Tina. The school said it could take five days to straighten out and suggested that Morgan go to the classes on the current schedule—which had her in several advanced science classes and Chinese—and switch it later. Absolutely not, thought Tina.

“I told Morgan I would meet her there as soon as I could get there,” recalls Tina, who first had to drive her younger son to his new school. “I said, ‘Go to the guidance office and you tell them you have an IEP and that they have to fix your schedule because it is not right.’”

When Tina arrived, the guidance office was very crowded, but Morgan was at the head of the line. “She was not intimidated at all. I think now she has learned—and this is what she learned about herself at the Howard School—‘I am not damaged goods because I have these learning disabilities,’ which is what she felt like before,” explains Tina. “Now she [tells herself], ‘Well, I have to figure out how to do it a different way and there is nothing wrong with that.’”

A positive role model

Morgan’s fear about not making friends at her new school was for nothing. She has tons of new friends and is a star athlete on the school swim team. Her team members voted her female MVP. She is in regular curriculum classes with accommodations and special services like team teaching with a support teacher, use of a MacBook, and a study skills class that includes a study hall so she can get work done at school. Her classes have websites with homework assignments, study sheets, and other relevant class information. Her IEP is being successfully implemented.

“Before, Morgan would get so overwhelmed. She wouldn’t know where to start with her school work. It was such a struggle. She would just shut down and not even try,” remembers Tina. “Now she sees the challenges and she says, ‘Let’s see how I’m going to attack it.’”

Morgan’s peers even come to her for support when they are having difficulties at school. “I think that she likes that she can help other people. She knows how bad it feels to feel like sort of a loser kid or have that feeling. And she just doesn’t want other kids to feel like that because it is just not fun,” says Tina. “She’s learned how to be very accepting of people where they are no matter what their issues and needs are.”

Morgan has used that empathy to help others understand differences. When she sees someone being teased because he or she is different, Morgan speaks up. She tells others not to make fun and shares openly about her own learning disabilities.

Asking for what you need

Some areas continue to present day-to-day challenges. “Sometimes I will react stronger than I should to small things,” Morgan shares, “but I have medicine to help me with that so it is only harder for me when I don’t take it—which I don’t always like to do, especially on weekends because I feel like I don’t need it, but I know it helps me and I need it for school to stay focused and calm.”

As her confidence has grown, she has learned that asking questions is a good thing and encourages her peers to do the same. “It has helped me to know that if you have a question, ask it and don’t feel stupid because Einstein said ‘No question is dumb.’ And I guarantee you that other people may have the same question, but just don’t want to ask so as not to feel or look dumb,” says Morgan. “I know I can always go to my teachers and guidance counselor or my case manager for help if I need it. I know if I am not getting what I need to tell people and fight for what I know I have rights to get for my learning.”

Self-advocacy is a skill of tremendous importance for teens with ADHD, and Morgan learned it at a young age from her mother. “I am the oldest of seven kids,” explains Tina. “You had to ask for what you needed.” Tina lost her own mother when she was young, which affected her thoughts on parenting. “I might not be here tomorrow. My kids need to know how to survive because no one is going to do it for you. You have to figure it out and life isn’t always fair.”

A hopeful message for others

Knowing she is not alone in her learning disabilities and that they don’t define her has helped Morgan. “At the Howard School they helped me to be open to how I learned and helped me realize the things I needed to do to learn better. This really gave me the confidence I needed to go to the school I am at now, public school again,” she shares. “One of my new friends at North Springs came up to me and asked me what was wrong with me, like why was I in team-taught classes, and I told her I have ADD and auditory processing disorder. She was so happy to hear that and I just made her day—because she was not the only one at school with learning disabilities. She also liked that I seemed very socially normal and not like I have a learning issue. I told her we are not different and that everyone learns in their own way. We just have a little harder time than others, but nothing is wrong with us. She said she couldn’t wait to go home to tell her mom she met me and that she was so happy to have met me!”

When asked her advice for kids with ADHD, Morgan replies, “I would tell them not to be ashamed of who they are or how they learn, but it is not going to be easy. It is hard work. I have come a long way to get to where I am. It was years of hard work, but I am so happy I got here and am still working to get even higher. I have developed the main thing a person needs for success, which is confidence and good role models and good people in my life to give me help. You need people to encourage you to do your best.”

Morgan emphasizes that you cannot give up when things get hard, but instead you have to push yourself through. “Have confidence in yourself and believe you can succeed and ask questions and go get help if you need it,” she encourages. “Good teachers and school and friends who help you gain confidence and our parents help and family support and a good home to come home to. I believe in every kid out there who is struggling that they can succeed and I pray for parents and teachers to open their eyes to help kids who need it. It cannot be done alone. It is a group effort to help kids gain confidence.”

Though Morgan has come a long way, she stresses that it is an ongoing process and that she continues to deal with setbacks. The main difference is that now she is better able to stop, regroup, and brainstorm with her family and teachers to find new solutions. Her confidence, hopefulness, and optimism are contagious. It has been a long, bumpy road, a team effort that began with a mother’s strong advocacy, unconditional love, and neverending belief in her daughter. “Morgan really does know herself very well,” adds Tina. “And she laughs when she realizes I know her very well, too!”

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Keath Low, MA, is the ADHD Guide for About.com.

http://www.chadd.org